He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
