she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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