Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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