On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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