She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
