Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize