no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
