Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
