This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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