your parents love me but you hate me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it glows. i had to have it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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