It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
