Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
