i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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