seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
