My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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