I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize