Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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