brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
