69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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