took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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