your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
