I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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