I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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