you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
