I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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