1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
