Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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