umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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