Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
