idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Let's get the cat blown out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
