i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
