I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
