Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My dick has a subreddit
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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