jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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