I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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