once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize