Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
