sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
