No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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