She said her name was "party"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
did i walk over a car last night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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