did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
