At least make sure they are 18
Why
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
