Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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