just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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