508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
