i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
