it was like eating out sand paper
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
