It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
