Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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