I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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