ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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