He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
