Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
