They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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