i was born a porn star she said
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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