Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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