they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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