We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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