i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
