Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
