I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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