That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
