We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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